Written by Paige Pelonis, CityHeART’s Art from Ashes Editor
October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Across the globe, people light candles in the evening to remember the little ones lost too soon, and this Wave of Light makes the world a little bit brighter in spite of the losses that can bring so much darkness.
I participate in this remembrance every year, and my home holds four candles in memory of my four pregnancies that never came to full term. I often find that knowing my story is not all that unique — miscarriage and fertility challenges are fairly common — is a mixed bag of comfort and added sorrow.
Not being alone in an experience can be comforting, of course, but knowing that so many have lost in the way that I have makes me sad and can bring feelings of helplessness and hopelessness as well.
On the night of remembrance, I find that it’s the one time I’m guaranteed to feel comforted and even find additional hope because I know there are so many candles being lit across the world. The countless candles burning around the world is an image of hope and encouragement for me each year.
Standing Still Is Still Standing
He grows sunflowers
in the summertime, because
my garden is bare.
I cradle my dog
before her bedtime, because
his seeds never bloom.
We dream adventures
and flying away, because
our nest stays empty.
My hands rest in his
firm fist while we sleep, because
he’s still holding hope.
New Hope Grief Support Community in Long Beach offers adult support groups for individuals navigating losses like this, as well as other kinds of grief and loss. If you have been impacted by this type of loss, or if you know someone who has been, I hope you’ll visit New Hope Grief Support Community.